Danielle's Other Other OTHER Online Journal

Title: Givin' It a Shot is Good Enough, Right? [1/4]
Author: dmitchell1985
Betas: misumisu84 and polaris_etoile
Summary: First dates are SUPPOSED to be this awkward, right?
Rating: PG-15 (??) - for some language.
Pairing: Cloud Strife/Barret Wallace
Warnings: Game spoilers for the second visit to Gold Saucer, but it follows my own line of what the evening/storyline entailed, with the exception of the canon character/secret reveal bit. And, er, the language.
Disclaimer: We all know the drill. I don't own the characters or canon information included in my fic and I agree to give the characters back when I am done ruining them beyond repair playing nicely with them.
Chapter Word Count:1,120
Total Word Count: 8,181
Author's Notes: I, for the life of me, could not figure out why I saw a few Cloud/Barret fics/doujinshis floating around on LJ. Then, I read through a Gold Saucer guide for small details to use in another fic. I saw the mention that the date Cloud goes on could also be with Barret. Well, that just served to make me want to write the pairing myself, since I am generally open to suggestion where the FFVII fandom goes. As always, thanks goes to my betas, misumisu84 and polaris_etoile, for double-checking my work for me. Also, all "Star Wars" mentions belong to George Lucas. See the end of the very last chapter for a few extra notes that address Canon Correctness (Copyright rights on that?) and such.
Crossposting: my InsaneJournal, ffvii_yaoi, barretcloud, and ffvii_yaoi

Chapters:

Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four

-

Barret twitched nervously and toyed with the bolts on the edge of his gun arm. He wasn't sure how he had ended up on an honest-to-goodness date with the boy, but he felt his companion's gaze settle on the side of his face. In the silence of the gondola, Barret could easily imagine that he was simply out with an ordinary friend. No pressure. No expectations of after-date activities. It was simply a case of two good friends spending a bit of time together inside of the world's playground. However, this was not the case at all. And nothing, no matter how many sparkly attractions lay just outside the reach of the gondola's windows, could distract Barret from this unfathomable truth.

Barret shuffled his feet and glanced over at Cloud. A small, hesitant smile tugged at his mouth and Cloud returned the gesture without any signs of hesitation.

"That sure was a good show," Barret said, trying to disperse the awkward air that was slowly creeping into the confined space.

"Yeah," Cloud agreed. "I wish that we had more time to spend here. I heard that the show changes every other night."

"Yeah, I heard that, too. It must be pretty great for those folks with the Lifetime Passes." Barret grinned as he thought of all the fun one could have if they had guaranteed entry into the park for the rest of their days. There were more games to play, Chocobo Races to bet on, and Battle Arena matches to fight and watch than any one person could take in on a single day pass. It would be well worth the gil spent to obtain such a pass. This was especially true if a park visitor was savvy enough to collect the respectable amount of GP it took to purchase a Golden Ticket, instead of buying a Lifetime Pass out-right.

Barret leaned back against his seat and searched his brain for something else to talk about that didn't have anything to do with crazed ex-SOLDIERs or friends who committed honorable suicides. He tried considering what his life would be like after all of the madness passed and the world's inhabitants were left with the ruins of their many mistakes.

He shook himself lightly to halt that line of thought. This was supposed to be a date, a time to have fun, not yet another reason for him to worry about the hell they would face once they left Gold Saucer to continue on their journey. Barret cleared his throat and opened his mouth to suggest that they get something to eat, but Cloud spoke up first.

"Do you want to go watch the Chocobo Races? I heard that Spark's Lightning is supposed to be a sure thing." Cloud tilted his head to the right and grinned at Barret's confused expression.

Barret covered the slip by letting a smile of his own spread across his face. "Sure! I could do with a bit of extra money. Who couldn't, right?" Barret rubbed his hand along the edge of his seat in anticipation. The races were the perfect distraction. They would give him a chance to come up with something more to talk about, while giving him an opportunity to openly admire the kid.

He had been more than slightly concerned when his growing respect for the boy's performance during his first, and only, hired job for AVALANCHE shifted into the realm of muddled feelings and unintentional lingering touches as he handed Cloud weapons and eating utensils alike. He had shaken the thoughts off and chalked them up to the undeniable loneliness that ate away at him in the wake of Myrna and Dyne's sudden deaths.

He hadn't expected to be left alone in the world, unwillingly abandoned by both his best friend and his lover. He had always counted on the fact that if one of them should ever leave him, of their own free will or otherwise, the other would be there to take up the slack, to comfort him without making him feel like a sniveling bitch for lamenting his loss. But they had both disappeared from his life without a proper good-bye, as 'proper' as partings from those he cared about could be.

And so he had duly ignored those initial twinges of unexplained enthusiasm at the realization that Cloud had decided to stay with them and fight against Shin-Ra's strength. He told himself that he was merely returning the favor when he took up Cloud's own quest, reasoning that he and Marlene were in just as much danger as anyone else, so he was fighting to protect them as well. He insisted to his nagging conscience that his desire to pursue Cloud's cause had absolutely nothing to do with the way he enjoyed Cloud's rare moments of freely given conversation, or the way his sweater sometimes rode up on his lower back when he leaned over to polish his sword or reach for an item that was just within his reach.

He heartily assured himself that his determination to see Sephiroth buried within the Planet's dried up earth certainly had nothing to do with the fact that he allowed himself to think about the blonde as he laid in his bedroll at night, doing his best to stifle his moans as he jerked off at the thought of the boy’s hands tracing the insides of his thighs.

Nope, nothing to do with any of that at all.

Regardless of his continued denial, Barret knew better. He knew that it had everything to do with his initial confusion at finding himself attracted to another guy. Sure, he'd had close male friends all of his life, but what man didn't?

But to actually think about kissing another man? To honestly consider what it would be like to share a bed with that same individual? It was madness, a sin, and completely debauched. Even so, Barret discovered that bit-by-bit, part of him wanted to know what all of the hoopla was about. What all of the condemnation frowned down on. What all of the idle chatter about men who fucked other men like women was about. It had to be something pretty damned good if everyone he knew had an opinion about it.

It was about then that he firmly decided to ignore all of his doubts and the rumors that he'd heard and the worst of his curiosity that chomped at his sanity. He brushed all of that away in one fell swoop the moment he drew Cloud aside from the girls to ask him if he wanted to go out and enjoy the park together. Alone.

He'd thought to himself, What harm could come from one date, right?