FIC: And I Shall Take What I Can Get [G, 1/1]

Title: And I Shall Take What I Can Get
Author: [info]dmitchell1985
Fandom: ASoUE
Rating: G
Characters: Madame Lulu, Kevin
Summary: Unexpected friendships have the bewildering tendency to show up unexpectedly.
Word Count: 401
Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events.
Author’s Notes: Written for false-spring-queen ASOUE Writing Challenge: Friendship. Hello to my partner in crime, carleycavalier!


Equally strong fingers on equally skillful hands wound the long, long strip of white cloth around Madame Lulu’s head. She briefly closed her eyes and drew in the slowest of breaths as she told herself once more that it was nothing at all to allow this freak the privilege of wrapping her turban for her.

After all, she was doing him the favor by letting him do something only normal people got to do on a regular basis.

If anything, she insisted to herself, it is him that should feel unnerved by the presence of a normal person like myself.

But lie as she might, Madame Lulu found herself sneaking secreted glances in the mirror at Kevin’s reflection. Her eyes lingered upon every crinkle in his brow that soundlessly declared the extent of his dedication to his assigned task. Feeling more than ready to be done with the business of enduring the freak’s presence any longer, she waved her fingers in Kevin’s face and jerked her half-wrapped turban free from his grasp.

"That’ll be all, freaky person," Madame Lulu said as she twisted the last bits of cloth into place, before securing the mass with her favorite jewel. "Please, you may go back to the freaks’ caravan, please."

A well-practiced look of boredom fell into place as Madame Lulu examined her nails and snuck glimpses of Kevin’s fidgeting reflection in the mirror. She watched as he twisted his hands together and his mouth flapped open and closed several times before he found the words to respond to his abrupt dismissal.

"If that is what you want, Madame Lulu. I know that it must disgust you to have someone with two equally adept hands tying your turban for you every day, but I hope that my tying has not offended you," he muttered to his entangled fingers.

"Your not leaving, please, when I ask you to, please, is offending me, freaky person. You are done now, please, so please leave," Madame Lulu insisted and pointed toward the closed door of her caravan.

With only the slightest shrug of his shoulders and the bitterest of sighs upon his lips, Madame Lulu watched Kevin slink out of her caravan. As she covertly eyeballed Kevin’s slow retreat, Madame Lulu found herself pondering the disheartening fact that this particular freak might just be the only friend she had to her name in this wicked, wicked world.


April 2015

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