Oct. 1st, 2012

Well, it's been a while, journal.

I find myself in such an odd position these days. I am so utterly disconnected to everything, because I have moved away from any and everything in life and online piece by piece. When I think about engaging more, I either feel overwhelmed or am reminded why I do my best not to care about others or be friendly to anyone.

Most of all, I just feel tired and worn down. I am reminded each day that it is best to stay at home and read books, than it is to log on to websites or have conversations.

I have worked so hard at blocking out everything, that I am finding that my memory is failing me. I am often lost and confused and can't remember conversations that I've had with people, because I don't care to do so, I suppose.

I'm stuck in this place of Otherness, because I can see issues around me with certain clarity, but I feel absolutely powerless to effect any real change. Because no matter how hard we fool ourselves, every system put in place in all parts of the world are not meant to be short-circuited and I just feel like there is no point in trying to do anything most days.

So, how does one carry on when you feel like nothing is worth doing?

Read more... )


Jun. 24th, 2012

Not this crap again.

It is insane just how quickly a hive mind had taken over the AL:VH fandom on Tumblr. It's almost to the point where I wish I had never used my Tumblr to interact with fandom at all. True, it's my own fault for creating fandom spaces, but someone else was bound to do. So, in a way, it's barely my fault for basically founding the fandom.

It just irritates the living fuck out of me that as soon as you say something that is not a popular opinion, certain people feel the need to instantly reblog your posts and explain why you're wrong. I'm sorry, but I was under the impression that it was MY blog and that I could post whatever I wanted to post. But even so, there's this feeling like your blog "belongs" to fandom, like it has a right to dictate what you post, how you feel, and what you think about AL:VH or anything else.

Cut for length )


Jun. 2nd, 2012

Is this my life? Seriously? O.o

I am having the oddest dilemma of my fandom life at the moment. I'm actually faced with what appears to be blatant plagiarism of my fandom work. It's crazy, because this has never happened before to my knowledge. But here I am.

I'm kind of going in circles, because I'm in a ridiculously small fandom. Meaning, we shouldn't have drama or be stealing one another's work this soon into the game. There are literally, like, maybe 20 people that ship the Henry Sturges/Abraham Lincoln pairing from the book, "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter." I'm currently the only person writing smutty fics for the Abery pairing, outside of one lone other story that showed up after mine.


I posted a fic for the last day of [info]mmom (which has been eating my life this past month) on the various sites that I post to and what pops up today? An extremely poorly written copycat fic that mimics the story I literally just posted the day before that this same "author" liked and commented on via Tumblr. She changed the substance used, but she copied the actions and reactions exactly. Like I said, it's the oddest thing, because how do you go about telling someone to back the eff up off of your work?

I even had someone who had read the original fic re-read the copycat fic just to be sure and they agreed. This person hasn't done this to me before, that I know of, so what do I do now? My friend says karate chop them and I'm literally flabbergasted. I know that it's a compliment and all, but why the fuck would she steal my work and then post it where I would see it? Again, there are maybe 20 of us in all spread out over something like five websites.

*headdesk* I kind of wish that the stories were on an archive, because I could just report her and that would be that.



May. 2nd, 2012


God, I'm having a time of it. I haven't gotten around to posting any fan fic in two years and I'm at a loss for words. Or, more specifically, I'm at a loss for the correct words. I know what I want to say in general, but how to get to where I want my fic to be? This is especially tough with no sounding board/beta to ask about how things sound.

So much easier to just be lazy and do nothing, even though I want to participate in fairly simple challenges. But I myself am a wordy bitch who rarely tells a simple story using as few words as possible. And that is precisely where I get hung up every time. I try to go too far? to search for a word, then get frustrated or distracted by the Internet in general. There are simply way too many awesome things online and way too many appealing naps to be taken to get any real work done.

How do people do it? Is it mostly practice or mostly forcing yourself to write for a set amount of time? Or is it just blessed magic?

Either way, I'm worn out and need sleep, but I really want to get this fic blurb done, even if it is technically late for my time zone. lol


Apr. 30th, 2012

Pimping: [info]hp_may_madness

If any of you in the Harry Potter fandom are looking for a monthly challenge for the month of May, but do not wish to participate in the MMoM/want something extra, [info]hp_may_madness kicks off on the same day.

Sign up info is here.

Apr. 28th, 2012


mmom is getting ready to start in just over two days. If any of you were considering writing for the month of May, the sign up list and info are located here.

I personally have always wanted to take a crack at it, since I've seen many a post pop up on my flist over the years. I'm not sure if I shall complete all 31 days of wanking, but I will give at least one story a try. lol

Of course, this is banking on me not dying of embarrassment first. But of course, that's exactly why I'm doing it this year.

Also! If any of you have any spare time on your hands and want to beta, please let me know. If not beta, if you see a posted fic and have time to spare me some drive-by constructive crit, I'd appreciate it. I'm almost always beta-less and I could use an extra pairs of eyes.

Thanks and hope to see your posts in the coming month. :)


Apr. 25th, 2012

S> Reality Check

I love the fact that all it takes is a few random finds on the Internet to give you perspective about the useless a-holes we all run across on a daily basis. I'm talking everyone from the collar-popped douches of the world to the rampant pseudo-intellectuals that have taken over the Internet.

Most particularly, I’m referring to the variety that grows and festers among social media and networking sites. I’m talking about those persons who write long 'essays' about stuff they know nothing about. This further applies to the anonymouses that gather together in hate threads/communities/Tumblrs and the like.

It's not so much that these things didn't dawn on me before, but more like a revelation that I am not alone in this train of thought. It can be hard to maintain a complete connection to the reality of a situation when you have a horde of yahoos all preaching the same brand of off-kilter hive mind thought. It is especially aggravating when this reality is utterly clear, if people would take two seconds to pull their heads out of their behinds.

It always gets me thinking. )


Apr. 24th, 2012

Is LJ completely full of trolls?

Seriously, all I want to know is:

  • When did the entire LJ community go batshit crazy?

  • When did all of the trolls on LJ move into positions of power and were allowed free reign?

  • When did it become a rule that you must agree with the majority and not point out honest-to-goodness facts? Like if you cannot deal with something, maybe you should stop interacting with it.

  • Because I got to tell you, that is good solid advice. And definitely looks like something I might have to look into my damn self.

    I can't say that I've ever been thrown for such a loop in my LJ life. I don't go out of my way to troll people, because I am much more interested in having an intelligent conversation than needlessly fighting. It's just that trying to reason or discuss anything with the rude and aggressive posters in LJ comms these days is an experience that one could never see coming. Not if you don't hang out in the comms enough.

    Dear, goodness. )


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